We serve “eggs” here. (And by “eggs”, we mean hashish.)

One of my favorite things about traveling across this great country is making note of all the improper grammar on signs along the way. I’m not judging; I’m just…judging. Quotes are running as rampant as E. Coli in spinach these days.

There are really only two times you want to use quotes. One is when you are directly quoting someone.  Like this, I thought Mama already told you, “Don’t talk to strangers in utility vans!” You’re directly quoting Mama, so you obviously quote what she’s saying.

The other is when you’re trying to be sarcastic or say something with an extra nudge nudge, wink wink. Something like, if you know Helga is really laying on the couch watching General Hospital on Monday at 2 p.m., you and your coworkers may say, “Helga is “working from home” today.” When in reality, you all know she’s full of it.

So I have to wonder why I saw the word “eggs” in quotes on a sign that read, “We serve “eggs” here!” By “eggs”, do they really mean moonshine? It just makes the whole scenario a bit sketchy.

I felt the need to write this post after recently seeing a wedding invitation that read, and I quote,  “We’re tying the knot!” I didn’t notice the bride-to-be’s gleaming white teeth or that the groom’s left nostril was bigger than his right nostril with those inexcusable quotations dangling around those words so unnecessarily. Why couldn’t they just write: We’re tying the knot! ? Who is quoting them here? NO ONE!

Apparently I’m not the only one who gets a kick out of this. Check out this blog entirely dedicated to unnecessary quotes!

So, when in doubt, leave them out!




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2 responses to “We serve “eggs” here. (And by “eggs”, we mean hashish.)

  1. HA! This is a pet peeve of mine too — my mom always labels birthday cards with “Katy” or “Chad” (including the quotation marks) and sometimes I wonder if she’s been lying to me forever about my real name!

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