Tag Archives: llamas

His Colon Is Acting Up; He Doesn’t Eat Enough Fiber.

This past week I spent time with some chatty hurly burly men who were generous in sharing too much information. One fella utilized his break time following me around on a motorized cart talking about his colon and all the pizza establishments he’s visited across the country.

See, the problem is that he doesn’t eat enough fiber, so his colon gets backed up — an issue many llamas know too much about when the pastures turn to muck. Pizza is an excellent colon clogger! He ain’t lying! But then there’s his kidney stones. His wife gets ’em, too. He went on to explain in detail that women can pass kidney stones much more easily than a man because “a woman is used to birthing babies through the birth canal but men just have tiny urethra”. But back to colons, you know what? I don’t want to talk about colons. Colons are easy. I think you guys get colons. I talked about semicolons once before, but let me make a brief statement about them again. In fact, hold up. I’m going to shut my mouth because The Oatmeal does this topic really, really, really, really, really well.

Enjoy this link; it’s really great. 

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Filed under Semicolons, Writing tips

That and Who and Whodat?!

Yes, I know, it’s been a while, and I can see that you’ve all missed me by the overwhelming amounts of comments and grammatical inquiries.

It’s red-tailed fox season, and life as a llama gets very busy this time of year. Amidst the alert chatters I do to keep my family safe, I almost forgot about how much this world is in need of a good grammar lesson or two.

On that note…

Today I was writing at work, hunched over and drooling as always, until I stopped dead in my tracks with a dilemma. My sentence was progressing something like the following:

The angry band of Grosse Pointe sea monsters will receive compassionate care from attorneys who…that…who…that…whodat?!

Oh no. I should know this…I mean, I KNOW I know this, but for a second my mind went as dumb as a ShamWow!®.

So, listen up, you dummies! When you’re talking about people, you use “who”. When you’re talking about a thing (an inanimate object of sorts, if you will), you use “that”. You may also use “that” when you’re speaking of a large group of people.

Example time!

Patsie claims that it was Nessie who crawled out of the lake to steal a sheep and a biscuit.

The Tea Party Movement is comprised of individuals that demand new episodes of Matlock air on daytime television.

Paula Deen is the nice Southern lady who cooks with approximately 24,000 sticks of butter per recipe.

You remember Edmund’s apartment, right? It’s the one that smells like someone left a plate of tilapia under the couch.

Flavorflav was busy watching The View when he heard a knock at the door and exclaimed, “WHO DAT?!

You may also use whodat?! when it’s really dark outside and someone is talking to you, but you can’t see their face.

Get it? Got it? Good.

All for now,

LL

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Filed under That versus who